Monday, 21 January 2013

It's all about planning and scheduling

Isn't it ironic, that you make a list of things that you will do to feel happy and on day 2 of the week, someone dies!  Logically you know that you can try all of the things that you planned to do,  and they will be things to get you through!
The concept of being grateful for the person  and celebrating the life of the person is something that you know will come in time! When is another story. It's like saying "neverary" in the hope that someone will think that they heard you say the name of a month, not realising that its an approximation of not in this life, or "hold your breath" and you walk away leaving them standing there. To those who do not understand our use of English, we would seem cruel, however it is just a linguistic skill.
You wonder how the siblings  and those who were closer  to the dead than you were will cope, when you are so devasted and you were a minute part of the life of the person! Of course any reasonable person will remind themselves of all of the ways that they were annoyed  with the deceased  for as long as possible until the grief fades to a manageable ache. Then you can deal with the real anger that you are supposed to feel about their death.
So week one has passed and many of the make myself happy points were not accomplished, some are actually being practiced this week out of sheer coincidence and coping. Perhaps my subconscious is taking over or is it that I think I know how to manage grief. That is another question... Am I inclined to answer it???? Not particularly.

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